Forrest Gump, The True Story of a True Liberal

Forrest Gump was on today and I just love that movie; it is the complete portrayal, the representation, the epitome of a liberal man and woman.   Take liberal Forrest, portrayed by Mr. Liberal himself, Tom Hanks; I doubt he even needed to act for this role.  Anyway he is a man whose IQ is south of 80, about average for a lib, he exaggerates his importance over and over and claims responsibility for things he probably had little or nothing to do with.

Also, your typical lib whose life is controlled by a couple of women whose best life advice for him was “Run Forrest Run.”  Yes, run… libs hate to fight or stand up for what is right; it’s why they hate guns.  If you have a gun you might have to use it to protect yourself or your family… we all know that libs believe that is the governments’ job.

The woman, Jennie, although love’s Forrest, is not “In Love” with him, so her desire is to be independent, out doing drugs, having sex with whomever, whenever and wherever it suits her.   Now she bumps into Forrest occasionally throughout the movie and gets his hopes up, lets him cop a feel or two only to leave him over and over again, messing with his head.

Now Forrest being the typical lib, as I said, exaggerates his importance throughout the movie by supposedly being involved in a plethora of significant moments in U. S. history; a hero in Viet Nam, the greatest “Ping Pong” player EVER, and of course caught the bad guys in the Watergate scandal, as well as being the greatest Shrimp boat captain ever.

Of course he only became great at that because he was able to take advantage of the downtrodden successful shrimp boaters when a hurricane put them ALL out of business.

And yes, he was the creator of “Bubba Gump” shrimp.  The libs are really good at taking advantage of those less fortunate; i.e. those illegal aliens from Mexico to do their dirty work and manipulate them into voting for them… of course we all know it is illegal for an illegal to vote, but libs believe laws are only for us.

Then when Forrest becomes the richest man in the world – although never holding down a job, something else libs are great at, Jennie comes back to him and sleeps for about a month to rest up from her independent way of life before she talks with him and teaches him to dance.

What a sweetheart.

Things are actually good for a couple of minutes until Forrest, in his wisdom decides to screw it up, as do all libs, by asking Jennie to marry him.  Jennie’s loving response is “Forrest you don’t want to marry me.”  The look on Forrest’s face was precious, like why would I ask you if I did not want to do it.  Then he said the most profound statement any lib has ever, I mean EVER made.  “I know I not smart,” DAAAAHHH, you’re a liberal, of course you’re not smart, none of you are.

So liberal Forrest goes to bed and of course Jennie comes into his bedroom later that night and pops his cherry and sneaks out in the morning telling the taxi driver without hesitation that she is not running away.  As I have said so many times “Lying is the second language for libs.”

Now this time she has liberal Forrest so messed up in the head he decides to run – of course that’s what he’s been taught; now he doesn’t run a couple of miles like a normal person would;  Forrest has to run from coast to coast about a hundred times; physically impossible, but he’s a lib and we all know what libs do – lie, manipulate the truth, exaggerate to make themselves look better, etc., etc., etc.  And of course during his million mile run he claims responsibility for the bumper sticker slogan “Shit Happens;” the “Happy Face” tee-shirt and the song “Don’t Worry be Happy.”

With those fabrications, I mean creations as well as solving the Watergate scandal, liberal Forrest has put Al “the Whore whose a Bore” Gore to shame.

So liberal Jennie see’s liberal Forrest on the TV and all the fame he has received from his “million mile” run and decides to go back again.  When she sees him she asks HIM to marry her…  And Oh By the Way I have about a week to live and this is your five year old son, of course named Forrest Jr., again what a sweetheart.  So Lieutenant Dan, liberal Forrest’s best friend comes back to be the best man, sleeps with Jennie (that’s what it looked like to me), had a wedding and liberal Jennie died.  Really was a sad ending.

My favorite part was when liberal Forrest asked liberal Jennie if Forrest Jr. was stupid like him and she said, “No Forrest, he’s a Conservative.”

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1 Comment

  • Cathy Milne

    Great points Jim! I enjoy watching “Forrest Gump” and will never look at the movie or its character the same way. Equating his low IQ with liberal mentality is an accurate and humorous comparison.

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